kenangan

...."He's the reason of the teardop on my guitar..the only that can break my heart...I fake a smile so he won't see"...a date dat I can neva erase.has been trying to do so diz pas 2 years but failed. I decided to change..trying to b a gud fren..but damn it is torn inside as the time come...I wish I could say no..I wish I woudnt return the call..I wish I won't hav to c u..no more..but this is not fairytale..face it and live wif it but damn hard!
Diz last year I think is my last that I give up...huhu...y? Juz wanna c u happy and smile..y? Bcoz I'm a fren..a a fren will alwiz make anoter fren happy..

si PENJUAL IKAN....

Jengkel...

Memang hampess

aku sangat la xgemar

aku dh la postcall..walaupun onkol bed sore grade 1 tp penat kot...ntah hape angin ntah bole plak aku xley tdo n settlekan benda2 remeh time onkol yg indah malam td...

so mmg le hari ni lesu, penat, skt bdn n ngantuk...

semalam bad artline day plak tuh...sume artline nak bunk...pastuh stok2 yg susah nak mampus nak insert smpi MO yg aku respek pn give up...

hari ni lepas CME pagi kitorg balik ICU n start round..round plak ngan bos 'baik' punye...aku tgh round2 1st patient admit la satu patient yg x stable gile ...nak intubate sume kat ICU..huhu...dh mula dh adrenaline rush...pastu sumer patient yg kekwat n ssh la artline xfunction, nak repeat septic workout, nak CVL baru...biasenya bile ramai manusia dlm ICU ni xde plak benda nak wat...ari ni bnyk plak nak wat...4 CVL ,  4 artline px yg susah2...br nak settle 2 patient dtg lg new admission...px restless giler2...CL 3 plak tuh...ish2... siap sume clerking n procedure yang semuanya HOUSEMAN wat ...dgr plak 1 suara...'p insert branula px tuh...dh bunk line die...' aku ngan azreey berpandangan.WTF.....??? Ko yg cbt branula tuh tolong la pasang...bkn kitorg duduk2 lalala mcm ko...dr awal smpi abis mengarah je tau....tau la preggy tp xpatut kot...sabor je la...dh la branula senang gile kot... vein menjalar2...adoi ai!bukan nak berkira or malas...tp xsyok la kan keje mcm tu...work as a team..jgn mentang2 ko tuh MO tau nak jdk pak tunjuk....senior MO sume pn xwat cm2...hampagas!!! Thap xbole blah sbb mase bz2 tu die ley suruh aku yg tgh bekerja gerak p amikkn mobile phone sbb die nk kol boss..apekah?? die yg dok diri je xwat pape xnak plak p...

sabar je la...

Mmg ptt pun mase onkol smlm senior MO tu gossip ngan aku n tnye pasal die...meragui kebolehan die..huhu...padahal mamat tu sebaik2 senior MO...xsyak lg!

Hello...sedar la sket sumer org akan ade waktu di atas n di bawah...br naik UD44 dh nak berlagak2..ya Allah mintak dijauhkan lah aku dr berperangai sebegitu kelak...tkut gak ckp2 pasal org tetibe sok lusa org ckp pasal kita...mintak simpang...

tp jadik manusia ni biarlah ikut resminya padi...makin berisi makin tunduk merendah diri.....

what the hell....

Avril Lavigne – What The Hell 

You say that I’m messing with your head (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
All ’cause I was making out with your friend (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Love hurts whether it’s right or wrong (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
I can’t stop ’cause I’m having too much fun (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

You’re on your knees
Begging please
Stay with me
But honestly
I just need to be a little crazy

All my life I’ve been good but now, I’m thinking what the hell
All I want is to mess around and I don’t really care about
If you love me, if you hate me, you can’t save me, baby, baby
All my life I’ve been good but now, whoa, what the hell

What… what… what… What the hell?

So what if I go out on a million dates (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
You never call or listen to me anyway (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
I rather rage than sit around and wait all day (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Don’t get me wrong. I just need some time to play-ay (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

You’re on your knees
Begging please
Stay with me
But honestly
I just need to be a little crazy

All my life I’ve been good but now, I’m thinking what the hell
All I want is to mess around and I don’t really care about
If you love me, if you hate me
You can save me, baby, baby
All my life I’ve been good but now, whoa, what the hell

La la la la la la la la… Woah… Woah…
La la la la la la la la… Woah… Woah…

You say that I’m messing with your head
Boy, I like messing in your bed
Yeah, I am messing with your head
When I’m messing with you in bed

All my life I’ve been good but now, I’m thinking what the hell (what the hell)
All I want is to mess around and I don’t really care about (I don’t care about)
All my life I’ve been good but now, I’m thinking what the hell
All I want is to mess around and I don’t really care about. (if you love me)
If you love me (no), if you hate me (no)
You can save me, baby, baby (if you love me)
All my life I’ve been good but now, whoa, what the hell

La la, La la la la la la, La la, La la la la la la la......

Listening to diz song makes me wanna say...

yeah yeah yeah...

Thats wat i am now..

Unmanageable

180 degree the opposite of before

but i decided to b like diz

I choose to be wild child...

huhu....

to u..

WHAT THE HELL!!!

toRn

its  aching inside..seriusly..its hurting me
Dont wanna say much
Dont wanna say anything
But ...
My heart juz cannot take it
it is torn apart
nothing can unmend it...

till then,,,
i shall neva appeared again to u

as things happened y do i feel i'm alone
No one to turn to
no one to talk to
no shoulder to cry to
no one to mend me...

is it bcoz my reflection
i chose to keep it with me
not bcoz i like the way it is
juz bcoz i have to..

keliru bercelaru...

Lalala...
Baru balik bersuka suki...
Lebey kepada menghibur hati...
Kenapa terasa sesak di dada?

Aku xpunya jawapan...
Adakah kerana
1) Teman yang bercuti di australia
2) Teman yg baharu menyambut hari lahir
3) Teman yg dekat tp seakan jauh dan semeangnya makin jauh
4) Insan yg tiba2 je ade tempat
5) Teman yg ada tp ditiadakan

Huhu...
Aku juga xpunye jawapan...

Chill je la...
Let it b..juz follow the flow
It will fall nicely and diz ache is a wax n wayne pain till then..
It shud hav 2ndary healing as there's quite an experienced throughout diz period...

perlukah ??

benarkah bila diri mula berharta, berpangkat manusia mula lupa diri??

Bengang betul aku di lweat jam 4 ptg td...
tgh bincang2 and wat slide kat Burn Unit tetibe ade call msk

A doctor wanted to refer a case
From a private hospital..
After he presented the case aku dengan lemah lembut and baik hatinye jawab i dont hav any right to accept or reject a case..
All new case/referral need to be screen by MO ONCALL and they will discuss with Mr Mathew if there's a need of admission
Just as simple as that
And wat his respond was ..
" y it is so hard for u guys to accept a case? i already referred to HSA and they asked me to call Burn unit HSIJB
Then now i kena kol orang lain plak
Siapa nama u
Siapa nama pengarah u
I wanna complained bout this..
U guys xde standard procedure or protocol macam mane nak handle benda mcm ni??"

~~~There i was...
Puzzling!
WTH!!! Ape la masalah ko....urgh!
Dah memang tu procedurenya
Sbb tu aku ckp ngan ko cmtu..lain la kalo aku jerit pekik kat die
Ape la...
bwek!!!

Jawapan aku senang je...
"My Name Aishah, I HO in charge cni.I mmg xde kuasa pun nak admit case. all admission being control by our boss, Mr Mathew...
Nama Pengarah saya Dr .....
Kalo dr nak refer bole suruh operator sambungkan..from here i cannot connect u..thank u"

berbuku2 perasaan marah aku..
tp sekurang2 nya aku xde la bodoh memarah mcm org yang menelefon

U're seeking for help..asking our expert management..
At least respectla org...
No matter who u r if u r not ready to respect others do u expect others wud do da same??

eiiiiiiiiii!!!! geram!!!

Last2 aku find out mamat tu MO ED kat Hospital tu jer...
lorr...
Beralagak mcm hape ingatkan doktor pakar ke...
apela...

Adakah dengan berperilaku sebegitu akan mengubah keadaan??
Akan mengubah apa yang terjd???

Sekadar renungan bersama...

Dari sebuah hadith yang diriwayatkan oleh Muslim,Rasulullah saw. bersabda bermaksud:
“Sesungguhnya Allah telah memberi wahyu kepada Aku yang memerintahkan supaya kamu semua bersifat tawadduk sehingga tidak ada seseorang pun merasa dirinya megah (lebih bangga diri) dari orang lain dan tidak boleh seseorang itu menzalimi dan melampaui batas terhadap orang lain”.(Riwayat Muslim)

Doaku Ya Allah jauhkan aku dari sifat sebegitu suatu hari nanti andai aku berada di tempat itu....

majlis kawen one of ZERONE

FUH! mase memule nak p majlis kawen tu mmg jantung aku dub dab dub dab...haha
pelik tp benar
aku mmg xsangka aku akan pergi majlis kahwin one of my klasmet back in Tepeng except cuda
Paling x pun aku bajet aku p farah kahwin since die deskmate aku gak
tp ari tu mase farah kahwin aku onkol..
so xdpt la p...
too bad..
mase memule cuda ajak tu mmg aku pk bnyk kali
padahal xpape pn
ok je..walau pun xde la rapat sgt ngan sumer klasmet aku dulu...tp kitorg ok la..xde issue pun..
tp aku rase aku mmf FOBIA kot ngan diorg
plus malu + segan..
haha...aku tau korang yg rapat ngan aku bace mst gelak guling2 ...
Tp betul beb, aku mmg segan
yelah dulu kat Tepeng aku malas gile blaja...nakal...bnyk wat hal...malu la beb...
tp tu pengalaman hidup
xwat xtahu pahit manis..
cume pade aku , aku rase org ade persepsi negatif kot kat aku
jd aku segan
lebey dr tu pe diorg nak pk aku xkesah..
haha

Buktinya, dh keje ni..
bole plak x-skoolmate aku bley citer ngan SN kat ward cmne perangai aku kat skola dulu..
dah ler sumer SN dok usik2 and kate xsangke aku cm2...
ish2....
(-_-)

Naseb yang ajak aku pegi kwn baik aku gak si Cueda yang comot...
aku pun stuju
Alhamdulillah
Dapat la jumpe Umar, Bam, John and Afiq...
Rasenya last jumpe Bam 1 year ago mase Ela kawen
John plak since grad xde jumpe
Afiq pun last jumpe mase fadot kawen...
Umar pun last jumpe time grad...

Mase kitorg nak blah tu acap hampir smpi tp sume cdpt tunggu sbb sumer org ade agenda masing2

Yang xbole blahnye soklan2 cepu emas yang bile dak2 ni sengal tanye and pandang kat aku n cuda mengharapkan jwpn...
1) Mane AQ? --Jwpn bernas aku ade la ntah la AQ bz kot..die dh kawen..haha..padahal honestly aku mmg xtahu..ntah, tang manenya aku nak tahu..huhu
2) Mane JJ?? --Apakah?? haruskah aku tahu?? hampess punye bam

3) so next perjumpaan kita bile?...cuda ke nuai yang kawen dulu??? APEKAH?? hampess...
CUEDA???
--Dh bosan dh gado+jumpe dak nih...
Haha

Buat NURUL HIDAYATULAILA SAHAR...tahniah..semoga panjang umur, berkekalan bahagia hingga akhir hayat...