cErItA jAsAd tEgAr,NuRaNi sEpI...

sebuah intermeso pentas hidup..

About Me

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i am da only gurl in my family..sgt manja n very fragile..i luv shopping esp kasut,bj n handbag..i love my family N fren so much tp saya sgt benci ngan hipokrit..i hav learnt to forgive and forget..like prmanently delete dat sum people ever exist as sumone dear to me.. sum people say dat i can ezly cry n laugh @ da same time..sum would say dat i'm as fierce as iron lady..sum would say i am so daddy lil gurl..sum would say i'm a b****..sum would hate me s i'm ultimate heart broker..sum will say i luv 2 hurt myself 4 da sake of others..wat eva it is..i take it..humblely..bcoz i am a slave to the Almighty..i am learning 2 b a better person...

Monday, December 27

a 3 day fiesta!

yahoo!!
Hari yang dinanti dh tiba...
sapangjang masuk bulan December hari2 aku hitung hari bila nak cuti and family gets togather...







Dengan jayanya cuti aku diluluskan 24-27 December 2010...best2

24/12/10 - Kitorg gerak dr BP konvoi ke Senawang...
Yang lain sumer dh ade kat sane..
sesampai kat sane mmg meriah...
Abg amir jdk ketua chef...
Da girlss wat kek and kuih..
Kak Ally wat kek marble and kek puding vanilla
Adek wat kek/Jelly pandan..nyum2..
Aku??
Haha ...mestila ade gak..dah sah2 aku mmg ske bab2 ni..aku pun wat agar2 longan purple..
Khas wat mak pengantin yang request aku wat...

Lepas tu kitorg sumer rewang2 potong bunga rampai..
Biler dh ramai2 ni biase la kaum pompuan dok dapur 24-7...dr mkn tgh hari minum ptg then mkn mlm plak
Tp lepas maghrib and after tahlil kitorg letak jawatan...
dah cun2 kitorg ada Henna nite...
haha
Malam tu minah tu kaya betul ~RM 430 dia untung wat henna kitorg sumer..

Tp sebelum wat tu rupenya ayah ade pesan ngan sepupu spapat aku yang lelaki spy bgtau aku jgn wat...mane taknya warga2 emas dh balik villa dulu tdo...
tp aku dpt pesanan tu lmbt...haha
Ayah geleng kpala je tgk kitorg punye tgn mase balik late nite hari tuh..hehe

25/12/10
Its solemnization day...
everybody started looking glam and extreme happy..
Alhamdulillah dgn skali lafaz jadilah Nur Falina seorang isteri ...tahniah!
bertambah seorang lagi ahli keluarga kami..
Aku plak skali lagi jd pengapit time nikah tu...
mmg kompem lambat la aku kawen mcm nih..huhu

tp pas nikah tu sumer org sebok suruh aku telan sireh nikah..
haha

and guess wat, it is suck!
ayah pun gelakkan muke aku yang terkulat2 mase telan...

ptg tu kitorg p shopping2 last minute..
beli hadiah pengantin..
-even though aku dah beli La Senza untuk die..
kitorg bli microwave..yeay!

then kakak ipar aku mcm biase la..suka gedik2 mcm aku..
die sebok nak test pakai bulu mata palsu..
kitorg pun beli

Mlm tu plak all da boys p main futsal..memula ayah and ibu xbagi sbb xnak penat for the wedding
Tp mak and abah xkisah je...
so diorg wat plan gak ...
ala, ibu and ayah bkn marah mane pun..
yang xbole tahannye abang gi sengal ckp ngan ayah diorg nak p minum...smpi kol 3 pg baru balik terdengkut2...
26/12/10
its the wedding day..held in Dewan Seremban...tema PURPLE and Songket...
tapi kitorg (ibu, aku and akak dah lari tema...p pakai Purple nad Sari) biase la..nak glam lebey..haha
the crowd was okay..managable

Safuan siap nyanyi lagi..
aku??
xnak la..malu den
dah la ayah bace doa..tetibe anak nak nyanyi...xseswai..if family je boleh gak..haha

Throughout the caremony we had so much click click...i think it is in da gene la...fotogediks..
tp aku tgk akak ipar aku sopan santun je dok diam2 sbb mak ayah die dtg..haha
xnak kena sound ngan mak die la tuh...
sume org gelakkan die..haha

I had soo much fun during holidays...thank u my dear big family!!!
Alhamdulillah in diz modern life nilai kekeluargaan masih tinggi...



Friday, December 17

sUrGiCal gALa nite -17/12/10

akhirnya surgical Gala nite berlalu dgn jayanya...
hooray!
Walaupun permulaannya cam kelam kabut sbb
1) Awek2 cun ni siap lmbt and kitorg gerak lmbt...so smpi lmbt
2) All last minute plan..<-- padan muka aku sbb xnak pk awal2
3) Dtg dh xayu sbb mcm2 hadiah and barang kat otel tuh

disbbkan xde org nak jd MC aku n Fahmi jd la bidan terjun..ptg tu sempat la wat skrip sket2 tp last2 kitorg xikut skrip pun..haha..
aku plak atas pentas tuh bole plak tersasul2 klua jabatan Perubatan..bukan pembedahan..haha

Started off wif doa (Naseb ade Hasyim nak bace doa..suruh si panjang tu xnak plak..hampess)then ucapan Miss Saro as HOD
-short and sweet...hehe

Started wif jamaliah menari...ternganga diorg ni sumer tgk minah ni menari..maklumla xpernah2..
pastu main cabutan beracun..cume the 1st round ni xchalenging sgt..Hasyim p wat trivia plak..

Pastu kitorg main Project Runaway..
Mmg kelakar habis...stiap meja kena pilih sorang model and hiaskan wif all the props yg kitorg bg..kena ade explaination gak nape model diorg camtu...lawak gile time tuh..
Mmg kreatif abis la diorg..aku plak main bg props ntah hape2 je...

Then 2nd round cabutan beracun mmg fun...Miss Saro kena jd king kong..Madam Seniyah jd kangaroo..Dr Ash salah jawab trivia and kena nyanyi...

Last skali kitorg kenakan Mr Johann, Mr Rahman, Mdm Seniyah and Miss Saro nyanyi karaoke lagu Waka-waka...sambil menari..haha

Mr Mathew xketinggalan sporting habes...

Bravo to all...

Terselit rase bangga bila diorg puji Surgical Nite...walaupun i didnt quite satisfied coz if i prepared earlier it wud be soo much more that can be done...

p/s: Tetibe ms prepare2 aku terdengar org puji mase O&G nite best gile...haha..alhamdulillah aku bersyukur..thanx to all yang jayakan mase tu...







Wednesday, December 15

gudbye...

We attend madam punye farewell party..
It is a sad thing...
Rasenya mcm baru kenal madam..disebabkan aku bnyk belajar ngan madam la aku minat nak wat Ortho..
skrg ni madam dh xde..
mcm mane ni??
Mcm xbest je...xtau la nak wat Ortho ke x...
Thank you madam for being a great teacher...a good boss and a role model..i admire u!!!
Masih teringat lagi zaman2 wat OT spine ngan madam...
sampai Dr Ash bole ckp aku anak emas madam...haha...palsu belaka tu...cume aku mmg bnyk blaja ngan madam...
Skrg pasti akan terasa kehilangan madam..it is really a sad thing...



suddenly i feel like loosing a motherly friend....
Gudbye Madam Jayamalar and Dr Shuk...

Monday, December 13

Salamun An Nisaa ('',)

‎7 muharam 1432..Assalamualaikum to Zara bt Sofwan Hakeem. (Arabic roots: Radiance, French: Light, Lebanese: Blossoming Flower)

2 hours ago via BlackBerry 


Tahniah buat Nurlaila Kamal dan Sofwan Hakeem...
Dari semalam sejak aku dapat msg dr ela when she was admitted to ward aku dh supr duper excited...xputus2 doa ku panjatkan...akhirnya...alhamdulillah...
Teringat lak kalo mase kat labour room dulu ini yang biasenya berlaku..

  • Bayi yang sudah dibesihkan dililit dengan kain tuala yang bersih dan lembut sebaiknya berwarna putih.
  • Ucapan tahniah biasa ku hulurkan selesai aku menyambut kelahiran bayi kerana sunnah memberi ucapan tahniah 
  • Si bapa pasti akan mengazankan di telinga kanan dan diiqamatkan di telinga kiri bayi lelaki dan perempuan 
  • Sunat 'Tahnik' iaitu mengunyah buah kurma atau manisan lain seperti titisan madu, nira nipah atau kelapa juga boleh digunakan. Tujuannya adalah untuk melazimkan bayi membuka mulut dengan mendapatkan ganjaran benda manis. Amalan ini membuatkan bayi mahu menghisap apabila ibu menyusukan bayi tersebut kerana sentuhan di lidah mempunyai kesan manis dan bukan kesan yang tidak menyelesakan. Selain itu, tujuan lain adalah untuk melancarkan percakapan anak kecil selain mengetengahkan anak kecil itu agar kelak selalu berkata manis dan benar.... - Yang ni aku biase dengar mak2 ckp tp mcm jarang je org skrg wat...huhu

Xsabarnye nak jumpe baby ela!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, December 12

mencari tulang rusuk yang hilang...

Jangankan lelaki biasa, Nabi pun terasa sunyi tanpa wanita. Tanpa mereka, hati, fikiran dan perasaan lelaki akan resah. Masih mencari walaupun sudah ada segala-galanya. Apa lagi yang tidak ada di syurga, namun Nabi Adam a.s tetap rindukan Siti Hawa.

Kepada wanitalah lelaki memanggil ibu, isteri atau puteri. Dijadikan mereka dari tulang rusuk yang bengkok untuk diluruskan oleh lelaki. Tetapi kalau lelaki sendiri yang tak lurus, tak mungkin mampu nak meluruskan mereka. Tak logik kayu yang bengkok menghasilkan bayang-bayang yang lurus.

Luruskanlah wanita dengan cara yang ditunjuk Allah, kerana mereka dicipta sebegitu rupa oleh Allah. Didiklah mereka dengan panduan dari-Nya. Jangan cuba jinakkan mereka dengan harta, nanti mereka semakin liar. Jangan hiburkan mereka dengan kecantikan, nanti mereka semakin menderita. Yang sementara itu tidak akan menyelesaikan masalah. Kenalkan mereka kepada zat Allah yang kekal, disitulah suisnya.

Akal setipis rambutnya, tebalkan dengan ilmu. Hati serapuh kaca, kuatkan dengan iman. Perasaan selembut sutera, hiasilah dengan akhlak. Suburkanlah kerana dari situlah nanti mereka akan nampak nilaian dan keadilan Tuhan. Akan terhibur dan bahagialah hati mereka, walaupun tidak jadi ratu cantik dunia, presiden ataupun perdana menteri negara atau 'women gladiator'. Bisikkan ke telinga mereka bahawa kelembutan bukan suatu kelemahan. Itu bukan diskriminasi Tuhan. Sebaliknya disitulah kasih sayang Tuhan, kerana rahim wanita yang lembut itulah yang mengandungkan lelaki-lelaki waja : negarawan, karyawan, jutawan dan "wan-wan" yang lain. Tidak akan lahir 'superman' tanpa 'superwoman'.

Wanita yang lupa hakikat kejadiannya, pasti tidak terhibur dan tidak menghiburkan. Tanpa ilmu, iman dan akhlak, mereka bukan sahaja tidak boleh diluruskan, bahkan mereka pula membengkokkan.

Lebih ramai lelaki yang dirosakkan oleh perempuan daripada perempuan yang dirosakkan oleh lelaki. Sebodoh-bodoh perempuan pun boleh menundukkan sepandai-pandai lelaki. Itulah akibatnya apabila wanita tidak kenal Tuhan. Mereka tidak akan kenal diri mereka sendiri, apalagi mengenal lelaki. Kini bukan saja ramai boss telah kehilangan 'secretary', bahkan anak pun akan kehilangan ibu, suami kehilangan isteri dan bapa akan kehilangan puteri.

Bila wanita derhaka dunia lelaki akan huru-hara . Bila tulang rusuk patah, maka rosaklah jantung, hati dan limpa. Para lelaki pula jangan hanya mengharap ketaatan tetapi binalah kepimpinan. Pastikan sebelum memimpin wanita menuju Allah pimpinlah diri sendiri dahulu kepada-Nya. 

Jinakkan diri dengan Allah, nescaya akan jinaklah segala-galanya dibawah pimpinan kita. Jangan mengharap isteri seperti Siti Fatimah, kalau peribadi belum lagi seperti Sayidina Ali....


Nota kaki 
~ Entry sekadar renungan buat diri sendiri
Buat sahabat handai
buat seorang kenalan ~Razieman 


Semoga kita hayati bersama...dan berusaha memperbaiki diri...amin!
Cewah!

xtvt LAME???

To
Alin - Haha...tetibe ko rajin nak bace and komen kat blog aku..terase seronok...rindu weh!! btol2 rindu
Naim - Baik ko ubah weh setting kat blog tuh...
Paa - Jiayou for exam
Ela - Semoga selamat semuanya..amin!

Aku baru balik berpoya2..haha...and skrg ni saje melakukan xtvt membuang mase...dh lame xwat keje nih...dulu mase aku student and berpakwe rajin wat...haha

Anyway, ni blog aku...so mestila ade letak gamba2 aku je...haha!!!

suggestion..

end of diz week is surgical night...

Tetibe plak aku in charge jadik ajk permainan and persembahan...

by tomorrow aku kena bentangkan plan aku nad prizes dat i need...

tp aku seriesly blank..
dah la kena wat ngan mamat yang agak sengal..urgh!

xtau ape nak wat...

mcm mane ni???
tolong!!!!
Pls give me sum suggestion

huhu....

Saturday, December 11

kaduk naik junjung...

pertama kali aku dengar diz phrases mase ayah dan abah kelihatan marah dan bengenag dgn perangai seorang anak buah mereka yang lupa diri...sombong xsemena2....

terkedu aku tatkala itu...yelah, jarang ayah marah2 sebegitu...
Memang la ayah tegas orangnye tp die sangat penyabar...slema ni ape pun anak sedaranya wat die mcm xde respon..diam and sabar...aku mmg dah lame panas...ade gak aku sound...aku xske gak nak masuk campur tp bile minah tu kurang ajar ngan ibu dan ayah mmg xbole tahan...if i can respect ur parents and ur siblings nape plak ko xbole...

tp perbuatan die kat pak Mok ,ayah and aunty mmg melampau....orang ni idup menjungjung agama dan adat..tp ape la yang kau nak bangga sgt dengan harta benda dan pangkat...bukan bwk smpi mati pun...

Abah plak...biasenya dia jarang mengeluh or komen benda2 mcm ni...bile tgk abah ckp mcm tu aku mmg takut...
Ya Allah peliharalah diri ini dr menjadi sebegitu...
Aku hanya mahu bahagia seadanya di bawah lindungan ILLAHI dan keluarga tersayang...


And soon later wif sumone who accept me as wat i am and guide me...Amin!

Buat sepupu ku yang memang jauh2 dr aku...( how i wish we r not blooodly related with ur shamful act) sedarlah sebelum terlambat...xguna buang pakcik makcik and ur own sibling...dulu di kala kau kesusahan siapa yang berada di sisi???

Friday, December 10

heartache...

Of all day...nape hari ni di pintu keluar wad kaki ku berhenti melangkah???
slalunya ramai je relative yang ade dtg carik patient...i wudnt stop if they didnt asked...
but today....

aku plak ramah bertanya...
'assalamualakum...carik siape puan??..."
"crk xxx..."
"Ni wad perempuan...patient lelaki wad sebelah..."

And aku terpandang seraut wajah...
di hati terdetik...
die seperti siapa yang aku pk kan..
namun aku menidakkan
mungkin khayalan ku...

Namun 2nd time jumpe kat male ward time kitorg tgh lepak2 tetibe they comes again
The lady said dat patient is actually kat ward male tu...
tetibe one of my fren tegur her...

MEMANG BETUL!!
It is her who i think she is...

YA ALLAH!
Of all people...sebesar2 JB and hospital ni...dia jugak yang aku jumpe
Sumone yang aku xnak jumpe langsung
Xnak tahu dan kenal...

Kenape??

Sekarang terasa pedih dan sakit hati ini...
Dan kini ade air jernih yang mengalir...

i shudnt be like diz...she is his fiancee..
it wont change....
i am so sad...
y am i so dumb???

BENGANG!

Manusia memang tak lari dari wat kesalahan...
aku xkate aku ni baik xpernah wat salah atau punye hasad dengki...

tapi sekurang2nye aku xde la berperangai mcm TAHIK!!!

KEnape???
Kenape????

1 - suke2 amik baju, tudung aku
2 - dah la pinjam xckp, xbasuh and xmalu letak balik
3 - masuk bilik orang sesuke hati tanpa izin...mamang busuk la perangai
4 - pakai barang2 org tanpa segan silu...ape?? bajet org xtau la...memang bongok la ko..
Lagi2 orang OCD mcm aku nih...mstlah sedar and perasan kalo benda and barang2 aku berubah tempat
5 - SELFISH letak keta kat tgh2 parking umah ...
Aku plak mmg dah naik angin...slame hari ni aku and shaliz wat bodo je park keta kat luar...tp skrg memang dh melampau...so aku revenge letak keta aku kat tgh dunia...haha...(jahat btul aku???) die bole park keta die blakang keta aku...block xbole kua.....memang PHD yang sgt tinggi!
6 - bukak sume lampu xkira siang malam...membazir!! amalan syaitan!

aku mmg sangat marah ni....
jahat x aku kalo aku dah smpi tahap xtahan nak halau dia keluar dr umah ni???
aku yang carik umah ni oun...xske and benci la org mcm ni....


BOLE /WAJAR x aku nak halau die keluar?????

Wednesday, December 8

Maal Hijrah 1432 H

8 DECEMBER 2010 = 1 Muharram 1432H

Kalo mase kecik2 dulu slalu nyanyi ...

satu Muharram detik permulaan, perkiraan tahun hijrah islam, perpindahan nabi dan umat islam, dari Kota mekah ke Kota Madinah....

Sekarang terasa janggal menyambut awal Muharram...sedih skali kerana kini terasa hambar...alhamdulillah rutin membaca doa akhir dan awal tahun masih tak dilupakan oleh rakan taulan ku...amin...

1 tahun hijri dah berlalu...
tahun yang penuh dugaan...
1- i'm facing the reality dat we can neva b togather
2- happy moments with a group of fren
3- 2x eksiden
4- a frenship dat suddenly complicate and torn 5 apart
5- menimba pengalaman berharga jd SHO Medical
6- my besties getting married
7- emak dan abah going thru major op
8- Hating an old fren dat cont to act like an innocent person yet alwiz making me feel dummy
9- Receiving loving heart
10 - Happy moment dat apparently TEMPORARY
11- My 3rd, 4th HP hilang 
12- I got new Blackberry bold 2 -White
13- Black berry 's skreen gone case ~rm 500
14- My SE Pink phone masuk lubang jamban, my nokia white rosak.....

**I really have bad luck with HP...Shud i stop buying new one???

And today i am onkol...anyway, new year coming...
Aku tekad berhijrah
Hijrah dari....hijrah ke...hijrah untuk...

a cold grudge person to a better personality
extra careful with my HP
A safe and excellent doctor
a Better muslim?
single to double ?

InsyaAllah....pray for it!

Sunday, December 5

5/12/10

Love the date...
Love the time...
Although it is not last day but the show still fun!
I am so excited..
To watch the play..
to meet the roleplayers...OMG!
When it is about to start suddenly they announce the arrival of ex Prime Minister -Tun Dr Mahathir  Mohammad and the wife along with Dato Rais Yatim...
whoa!
and their sit just behind us...huhu...
We enjoyed the show very much...
memang sedih dan menyayat hati...tp xde la smpi aku nangis teresak2..cume mmg terkesan di hati...bergenang gak air mata di kelopak mata...
Congratulation to all the players!
The day ended with a song..rupa2nya it was Tun Mahathir punyer birthday...so all of us sang togather and ade upacara potong2 pulut..huhu...
to think of it again...kitorg mmg bertuah..dulu mase pegi tgk Cuci the Musical ade burfday harith iskandar...kali ni lagi hebat...
Hope we are lucky in the future also...

Thursday, December 2

Natrah...pre teater..


Natrah @  Nadra Maarof 
-  wanita keturunan Belanda
- Rusuhan Natrah di Singapura pada tahun 1950. 
- sentimen agama dan warna kulit.
 seorang anak Belanda - ayahnya telah ditahan oleh Tentera Jepun dan anaknya telah diberi dan dibesarkan oleh Makcik Aminah
dibesarkan dalam keluarga Islam dan telah diberi nama sebagai "Natrah"
kerajaan Belanda berpakat dengan kerajaan British bagi memurtadkan kembali Natrah yang sudah memeluk agama Islam dengan cuba menggunakan tipu daya bagi mengheret Natrah ke dalam Mahkamah Tinggi Singapura pada tahun 1950
semangat akidah Melayu  terlalu tinggi ketika itu...
Orang melayu dari kelantan kayuh basikal turun ke singapura
Orang melayu di pulau pinang jalan kaki ke singapura
orang melayu dari perak dan selangor tumpang kerata api barang untuk ke singapura
pada tanggal 12 Disember 1950, beribu orang melayu sudah sampai ke singapura
Orang melayu diketuai oleh Karim Ghani telah ditahan oleh Inspektor Taha yang berkhidmat dengan kerajaan British.
Karim Ghani menyatakan kepada Inspektor Taha "ko orang Islam, aku orang Islam, aku datang hari ini bagi menyelamatkan akidah seorang anak yang menyebut kalimah "LAILAHAILLAH" , adakah kamu yang menyebut kalimah "LAILAHAILLAH" juga mahu menghalang aku? kamu halanglah aku akan tetap pergi....

Askar British tembak orang-orang melayu
Mengalir darah orang melayu di tangga mahkamah tinggi singapura
Seramai 18 orang telah gugur Syahid....


Iany kisah pengorbanan seorang anak, seorang isteri,,,seorang umat...
Can't wait!!
waweee... (",)


Tuesday, November 30

tErus TeRaNg

semalam ms klua tgk wayang aku dgr lagi lagu ni...

sangat suke lirik lagu ni..
penuh makna

p/s :
Naim, aku tau bile ko bace ni ko mesti akan ckp aku ske lagu2 sedey...and ko mst nk kata lagu yang aku ske ade kaitan ngan aku kan??
tidak sama skali!!!

Jangan pernah kau katakan
Bahawa cintaku terlarang
Karena tak ada yang tahu
Erti cinta sesungguhnya

Cinta datang dari Tuhan
Yang tak mungkin ku hindarkan
Kerana aku manusia
Yang pastinya butuh cinta

Kepadamu aku terus terang
Bahawa aku memang masih sayang
Demi kamu aku relakan perpisahan

Hanya kamu yang aku sayang
Bersamamu jiwaku melayang
Demi kamu aku relakan perpisahan


Perpisahan..

Cinta datang dari Tuhan



Thank you..

He can be discharge today...
Alhamdulillah...
Aku sangat gembira..
wee!

Monday, November 29

How long does a man live???

how do we measure
the length of a man's life
by number of years?
or what He touched others by??


If truth be told
the measure of life
is gauged by how
we carry him inside


Those who carry 
His essence and pride
receive his gift
Of hope and life


If we have to measure
the length of one's life
He truly lives
When through him, another survives


For it is in his giving
That others receive
A gift so precious
of hope and new life...


Sunday, November 28

headache...

musim cuti sekolah dah tiba
bersusun2 kad jemputan kat umah aku ni..
membe2 pun dh stat anta jmputan
nasib la aku xde ramai sgt kenalan..hehe
(yeke xramai??ke aku yg wat2 xramai..??)
tp skrg ni dh stat rase kehangatan...
soalan2 yang bakal diutarakan...
Ko dh kawen?
Bila nak kawen
Jangan lah memilih sgt...
xcayelah ko single lagi...
ko ni rahsia sgt...

urgh!!!
rase nak gigit2 sume org yang tnye...
aku xpunye jawapan

hakikatnye aku pun dh stat bingung
dulu mase blaja bergila2 bercinta
padahal ranggungjwb ms tu belaja
skrg ni dh terbalik plak
keje keje keje
xpk benda lain
idup aku pun xinvolve org lain dah
so remain single...

Namun dalam kesibukan diri
bukan aku xterpk...
dulu bole la sedapkan diri cakap baru nak stat keje,housemanship
Skrg ni dah ujung housemanship...

huhu...

time will tell??
Oh Allah guide me thru diz...
Kau lebih mengetahui apa yang lebih baik buat ku...

sakit gigi

today i had a bad toothache and headache...and i am onkol today..harap2 hari ini berlalu dgn aman..skt sangat gusi ni.berdenyut2..dh telan ponstan 2 biji tp cm xrelieve je..disbbkan skt sgt aku br terpk nak bace and carik nape bila tumbuh gigi bongsu gigi akan rase skt....
Nasib la sepupu aku dokter gigi..die la penasihat aku...name je aku ni keje kat hospital tp malas n leceh la nak p jmpe dentistry kat sane...
Anyway, memalui pembacaan aku 3rd molar or gog bongsu ni part of gigi kekal yg spatutnye stat tumbuh >17 tahun.tp die ikut variasion la kan...macam aku skrg ni br rase seksanya...member2 aku punye la berlagak and gelakkan aku sbb skt gigi..cet! dalam ati aku dok kate...ko tunggu la giliran ko nnt..tp rupa2nya gigi bongsu keng kadang mmg xtumbuh langsung...ish2!

Bila 3rd molar ni tumbuh kawasan gusi and rahang kat dlm mulut tu sempit..jd gigi bongsu tu tersekat or maybe tumbuh senget disbbkn akar gigi yang senget...so tu la gunanya wat xray...sbb thru xray je nmpk...tp mcm aku ni berbuih mulut spupu aku suruh p wat xray tp aku wat bodo je..haha...

tp gigi bongsu ni tak perlu dicabut keluar daripada rahang if tak menimbulkan rasa sakit. Tapi kadang-kadang ia boleh menghimpit saraf kecil di sekitar rahang sehingga menyebabkan rasa sakit. Rasa sakit itu boleh tersebar ke sekitar bahagian leher dan muka..huhu...xbole lupa la rs sakit ni...


aku dh jd mcm drug abuser...PCM + Ponstan + Celebrex br ilang skt aku nih...
hari2 telan dlm 6-8 ketul pil..kalo xssh gile nak keje especially time onkol nih...


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Akhirnye setelah hampir 10 hari sakit gigi aku dh baik...tanpa perlu surgeri membetulkan kedudukan gigi or telan antibiotik..sepupu aku kate 1 of other complication adalah 2dary infection...mmg la aku cam ade rs low grade fever + palpable LN tp malsa la nk mkn antibiotik..hehe...





Saturday, November 27

study sket...

dulu ms stud xdela kesah sgt cmne diz op was done..it is too specialty for me..tp since all diz happened aku jadik kesah nak tau..
juz to share...pengalaman live and theoritically
Tuesday ~23/11/10 @ 12 noon 
Abah ditolak masuk dewan bedah..sebak aku tgk mcm mane abah menunjukkan kegagahan diri..dia tersenyum malah siap put thumbs up...huhu...he is strong!
Angiogram was done by Dr. Yang Chin-Huat, Ngeyu
He was once in HSA...
He is soo nice...nampak tegas yet friendly
After telling me the diagnosis we can stil having conversation...he is among those with noble heart..


Surgery was done by Dr. Patrick Leong Kin Seng
He is a person with noble heart 
Penuh dengan kerendahan hati
1st time jumpe dia aku cume kenalkan diri as a houseman...
penuh dgn rasa rendah diri...
tapi dengan harta,pangkat dan kedudukan dia..die xbongkak dan lupa diri
He called me Dr Aishah
sangatla terharu..ssh nak jmp org seperti die di zaman sekarang...
In fact he actually considering to let me in for surgery..
Although it is a chance for me but i dare not to..
it is unethical..i'll b to emotion..


Usual procedure done
Anaesthesia given..
As expected once sedation given BP crash...really crash..
they had to rush for surgery ... 
Pre-op has been decided that the graft will be taken at bilateral saphenous vein since it is tripple vessels disease.and if to take internal mammary aryry wud b difficult in a rush situation like diz..
the surgery was done conventionally -Open heart surgery..
Abah's chest was open with incision over the sternum
Simultaneously, thegreater saphenous vein from abah's leg was harvested bilaterally
Then his heart was connected to the heart lung machine
One by one bypass was done...
He was bleeding...more than usual..as expected coz on admission they hav to give ticlodipine...and he keep on bleeding
prior to surgery 2 pint autologous blood has been taken and reserved
After all the bypass completed, the heart is restarted
Abah's chest was closed
Drainage was also inserted
Noted continous bleeding
Although not as heavy as before but still underrunning
the sternum was stabilized with stainless steel wire suture, and the chest and leg wounds are closed with sutures Surgery finished at ~ 5oopm
When he was sent to ICU -Ventilated and sedated drain still increasing
but diz time slowly...
Sebak menyelubungi suasana...
aku tau mereka semua mengharapkan abah bangun dan bercakap seperti biasa....
Not ventilated and sedated
satu per satu anak2 dan saudara mara dtg menjenguk...aku jelaskan satu persatu...yang mane perlu...
hiba melihat emak teresak2 menangis...
mungkin terlalu terkejut melihat kenyataan...
BP monitor ku lihat decreasing from 99/60 to 80/56....
PR mula tacy...140-150
aku mula risau
He is damn pale
sudah 3rd pint PC masuk
DIVC regime pending...
Dr Patrick juga ade di situ...
tenang sedikit hati ku
die menrangkan aim to keep bp between 80-100 SBP...
Lega sekejap tp ku tahu dia gusar jua andai pendarahan tidak berhenti
Melihat kepada PR yang bertambah tinggi aku tau it is a repond due to blood loss
Ku lihat ade Dopa, Norad, GTN...


Di dalam hati doa ku panjatkan agar semuanya lancar


Alhamdulillah D1 post op bleeding minimally only
Total 6 pint PC, 2 Autologous blood and 1 cycle DIVC regime...


Thank you Allah
Thank you for granting nur and strength to Dr Patrick atau nama islamnya Dr Iskandar...

sekarang ni menunggu abah pulih dan sehat sepenuhnya..
aku tahu abah kuat semnagat...
GANBATE!

HeArTy hEaRTy!!

i had a hectic week...Alhamdulillah I sail thru it..
a week full of emotion
an expected diagnosis but came along unexpected finding
unbearable sadness
most difficult decision
fighting with wat u know and wat u expect wud be
hiding ur true emotion...
miraclelous operation

Syukran jazillah Ya Illahi...
U hav granted us the best..
U lead us to it...

Abah was admitted to Pantai Hospital for stable angina..postcall and i came back noted ECG in hospital Extensive anterolateral MI..He was admitted to ICU..Next day we agreed for angiogram KIV proceed in Pantai Melaka..Hoping it will end there although i do know from ECG it is not that simple..thats for sure..true enuff noted Angiogram severe stenonsis of Right coronary branch, Complete blocked of LAD and stenosis Left main branch and Left circumflex artery..in short heart only recieve <10% blood supply...and the only solution is BYPASS!!
CXR shows pulmonary congestion
I wud say a beautiful xray for final year medical stud exam...very typical!
It is juz like a timebomb..either we loose it later or take the risk for op now and probablity of complicated surgery leading to death as worst outcome..but if we neva try we wud neva know...at least we hav done sumthing..
When the surgery was done i can feel my heart pumping very hard..and at last i cry...after all people calm...i've been keeping it...sbb aku rase kalo aku menangis di saat sumenya bersedih pasti mereka akan lg sedih kerana kenyataan yg sebenar aku lebih mengetahui kebenarannya...aku xmahu mereka mengetahui the worst situation
Alhamdulillah now day 4 in ICU post surgery...abah dah stat soft diet...dah sitting by chair..cume yang merisaukan aku still on IV Dopa 3ml..Nampak abah cengkung...kalo bole aku nak duduk sane je...sampai die sembuh and kua...tp aku jua punye tanggungjawab...doaku sentiasa dipanjatkan untuk kesihatannya...amin!

Sunday, November 7

JB-KL-JB-BP

Sound tiring huh?? but, it is a superb holiday!!!!! love every momemnts with the girls -Nurlaila kamal, farhana shafie, Shuhaidah AnwarDyana RazakAnne M ZakawanNurfadhila M Sharef, Intan Mastura, nopi Fizah amer and aqilah baseri hudin..


Walaupun hari terkilan xdpt sleep over cuda's house...tp the hangout togather was fun...good ventilation..sharing and exchanging stories..gossip..and best part is, we alwiz hav each other for ANYTHING..anything emergency, stat or planned..up to extend kemunculan FIONA & SHREK..unexpected and shameful..


Seeing u guys means a lot to me..get to share wat i've been holding inside for sooo long...get to breathe wif clear mind..


here are for u guys :..
Ela
~ serius aku kagum ngan ko....gorgeous + tetap maintain..sporting +supporting+loving husband...u hav everything in life now dear..appreciate it. Thanks to Allah..soon, the baby gonna fullfilled ur life..semuanya tersusun indah oleh ILLAHI...as ur fren i alwiz pray for ur safety, health and happiness..


Anne
~seeing u is like seeing a new u...mmg beza la ko ngan kitorg yg kanak2 riang ria...maksud aku kitorg yg single ni eh...the way u brought urself..and although probably i'm the last to know u r preggy iam still elated bout it...and despite being preggy u still look pretty and stunning! u will soon joining ela..i am so proud of u too..the cute-chubby yet adorable hubby will alwiz be by ur side dear...thank u Allah for granting health, wealth and happiness...


Yan
~i am happy to c the sparkles in ur eyes..the brave and courageous spirit that u've once had 3 years back...and he is WORTH for a husband to b..ur precious heart deserve it..i'm waiting for an invi dear...Fendi, neva ever hurt her coz she had enuff pain..now, i need ur strentgh to wake up..this messy love..


Fadot
~ tahniah yang tak terhingga dr aku...walaupun ko yang kawen ko tetap kepoh and xbenti cakap...harapnyua aman dapat mengemudi bahtera korang dengan bijaksana, adil and saksama...hope our frenship will stay the same mcm mak yong2 tuh...and dear, u look so lovely in the white pink sui...as alwiz, cantek! xsangka percintaan yang bertahun lamanya berakhir dengan indah...


Atork
~ u r alwiz the same...pre or post marriage...hehe..funny, sweet and lovely..deeply sorry for not beeing there..di ingat2 balik aku mmg jahat and kejam...xdpt p ko tunang...xdapat pegi majlis ko ari tuh...i've missed improtant events in ur life...but trust me, how much i wanted to be there...yang paling penting doa aku tak putus untuk kebahaghiaan ko dan fadly...Praying ur cool hubby will remain cool yet best husband ever..baik duniawi dan ukhrawi...


Paa
~ memang aku respect giler ko...still student yet alwiz up to date, maintain...in everyway -socialize, study and relationship...i envy u! Syukur hubungan yang tercipta antara ko and shah kukuh hingga hari ini...i am so happy he alwiz b by ur side..shah yang gila2, sporting nslamber yet smart...paling aku ske sbb shah ske kenakan cuda..jdk aku ske..haha..sket je lagi perjalanan ko..i know u will sail thru it and join us..jgn jadi HO garang cam aku eh..haha...


Nopi
~ kau aku paling jarang jmpe and dengar cite...tp aku tetap sayang ko gak..hehe..amd u changed a lot too...teringat kenangan pakaikan ko make up time qlod kawen..serius aku rindu gurau senda kita time tu..and dont worry dear, ko xtertinggal ape2 gosip bout me..ko bc blog ni sure ko paham kot..kalo xpaham p tanye kat makcik2 kat atas ni sume...aku tunggu nasi minyak ko dulu la..tunggu aku mcm xberpenghujung je..lastly, i;m prouf o u to dear..superb brain!


Cuda
~ bole tak aku xnak tulis ape2 utk ko? ko plg slalu aku jmpe spatutnye..haha..tp sbb ko la yang bx sgt jdk xslalu jmpe..haha...thanx for hearing me much...aku rs ko plg bnyk tgk aku nangus, dgr aku citer...and walaupun berbiuh2 mulut ko ckp aku cam degil gak kan?? and dear, dont worry...for sumone like u a good charming guy will be there...u dont need to go sampai korea nak crk...open up and gives space..mungkin kita xnampak ape yang ade di sekeliling kita..hehe


Qlod
~ mmmmuah! rindu sangat kat ko...raenya xpuas kuci2 mase time ko kwen tuh..and biler tgk berkali2 gmbr ko kawen tuh..OMG! ko ptt jadik model sambilan la..cantek +tinggi and best..u're hubby yang sangatla sporting layan kitorg..Praying his maturity will alwiz lead u guys punye life towards better life dunia dan akhirat...


gosh, diz entry is damn long...baik korang bace!! kalo xbace siap la...and now..i badly missing u guys
That's y i hate post-seeing u guys...


hehe



tItIk nOktah??

meeting old + cool eva girls..all in and out...telinga ni kalo bole amik MC mungkin dh mintak MC..i'm glad i've alwiz hav u guys to shout to, to whisper, to weep with...hehe.and after thinking and thinking i make up my mind...he is not woth waiting or longing for..i think my reasons are good..and i need to list it here so dat each time i'm melting i'll wake up...and open my eyes widely..paa, cuda n yan says i'm too soft-hearted..too weak??

0- islam is the way of life..thank u Allah..alwiz and a must!
1-y do i c u undecided ??
2- u don't seem to hav ultimate end in the relationship  ~marriage~
3- we r directing socializing different way..way too differ..
4- i need sumone to hold on to, to guide me not driving me away...
5- i can't b among ur class...
6- i can't stand too open up relation..

and i hope diz feeling vanished...wipe everything..so dat i cud wake up easily and keep on breezing thru this path...

Monday, November 1

wHy??

why is this feeling is there?
it is eating me from inside..can't stand it..
tracking back...how do we 1st meet??
y in the first i became comfortable wif u..
y wud i say yes for the trip??
then slowly the bond grow..living in the daily life..
until i can't run away from it..
i realize i already falling into it..
i'm trapped...
then from PRN basis it is BD..then it is TDS..Then it is QID..
Then it becomes a must..seeing whenever there is time..lunch..coffee..dinner and supper..
sumhow from a norm wakie call into early morning conversation
spending time togather..
alwiz being ask to be by his side...~coffee wif madam..seeing gudfren..pick up stuff..packing up stuff..be there whenever gloomy and doomy time..waiting to go back..sharing secrets and spice of life..
sumhow later i know i've been appreciated as sumone important..at least dats wat he said..
He manage to convince me how beautiful love dat time wud be...
and i go wif the flow
Perhaps dat my mistakes.....
Then occasionally we chit chatting between us..hearing each other for hours..without telling anyone..having dinner and few break-fast togather..watching movie..
at dat time i reminded myself not to be too sure...
we neva knew..
but the way u lead me is very confusing...
then there come 'loving heart' between us...
u said it is everything in it..i ask for more details..
ur answer ~everyhting related to it...very vague...how am i supposed to react??
wat am i supposed to take it as ??
the gift was very meaning ful..and it will alwiz be meaningful..forever
and u urself say dat it is very meaningful...
i accept it with open arm dear...
then comes the day u r finally leaving my day....
my daily life...
u'll be faraway from me..
the truth is, i am afraid of losing u!
too afraid......
u convince me..convince us everything wud be da same..i hold onto it...
during the last week..last moment we are here togather i feel elated
feel appreciated
feel ur love...
and i know it is true the day before u leave...
it will forever b our secret...
thereafter....
we alwiz have msgs and morning msgs....
u hav said dat u will neva stopped...
u will neva forget to do it...
but it lasted for not so long..
but it heals well when we see each other to 1 weekend we hav been longing..
i have a wonderful weekend wif u...
it means a lot!
a lot to me...
to us...
the setting...
the place..
the events..
the clothing..
the gifts...
the moments dat we hav...
but y do it ends there???
i'm loosing u bits by bits...
day and nite waiting...
but it seems everything end....
but u said it wasn't so..
then there were everything in between that drive me further way from u.......
i need to choose of my heart or her heart...
but i need u to choose...
my heart or her....
y wud a simple text like 'i miss u' hurt me much.......
y wud a care and loved to her put a deep cut in my heart.....
and she tells me dat a person like me needs u by my side as my mate on the wedding day to boost my self esteem...
is it??
dats wat i am to u?
and u on the other hand when i said u r juz a plus one..
asked me back..is that all...
wats dat about??
and there u are keep on pushing me to bring her to u...
wat game r u playing??
y can't i play along wif u.....
i juz cant't
and dat last time..all i need was a dear too hear me out..soothering me..
not a person whom i'm not sure who u r dat time...
turning all the way to me...
i juz need a shoulder to cry on..
all i ask is to hear me out...
juz as simple as dat...
and u came...
in my heart He knows how glowing my life is.....
but i juz cant shine it out
cant share the light
but i'm hoping u to see thru it...
know from inside
but we failed to communicate.....
worst part things not went well...
but i am not dat cruel
i respect her care and love
and there u goes...all wif her
it hurts me badly when u guys are a match...
maybe it is fated....
then..
everything is towards her....
wat r u trying to say??
can't u see i'm torn???
r u too blind to see??

my Q to u is only one...

If she, she she can c my feeling thru..y cant u??
y r u not giving answer to wat it is
 
Cute Light Pink Flying Butterfly